


My Whole Life's Like Some Test

by BewareTheIdes15



Series: Rockstar!AU [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Glam Rock, M/M, Musicians, Rock Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-28
Updated: 2011-06-28
Packaged: 2017-10-20 19:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/216251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BewareTheIdes15/pseuds/BewareTheIdes15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared couldn't be happier to have Jensen as his boyfriend. Jensen is his boyfriend, right? Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Whole Life's Like Some Test

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the musical "Spring Awakening". Why? Hell if I know.

Jared shifts around in his too-tight jeans, the little movement sending shocks of maybe-pleasure through him. He would seriously put a moratorium on letting Jensen dress him, except it seems to get the guy - Jared's boyfriend - so hot. Jared's boyfriend. He knows he's grinning like an idiot, but the bar is dark and Jared's standing up on some special VIP balcony overlooking the dancefloor, so there's a good chance no one notices.

That also makes it an excellent opportunity to shift around again, because damn, everything's just so sensitive. He's still really new to this whole shaving your crotch thing - Jen calls it 'manscaping' which may be the gayest thing Jared's ever had floating around in his head, gay sex fantasies about Jensen included - and it still feels all... well, actually it just FEELS.

The fact that all of his underwear has mysteriously gone missing might be a contributing factor. He's pretty sure it has a new home under the bed of the last hotel they stayed at. Jensen's nothing if not persistent.

Like Jared's thoughts called him, Jensen's hands slip around his waist from behind - he’s considering getting Jen a collar with a bell so he can’t sneak up like that.

"How's it hanging, big boy?" is pure sex right in Jared's ear. Seriously, if this music thing doesn't pan out, Jen could make millions on a 900 number. Jared’ll be their best customer.

"Well, more standing than hanging now, thanks to that," Jared snaps, but he knows Jensen doesn't buy the annoyance. Might have something to do with Jared pressing his ass back against the stiffness of Jensen's dick. Jensen can joke about Jared always being hard, it's not like the singer’s usually far behind him

Except now; now he's much too far behind him, at least two full layers of clothes between his ass and Jensen's dick and that's just not acceptable at all.

"Let's get out of here," he growls, thrusting back into Jensen's grind to expand upon the point. He hears Jen's breath catch close to his ear, and something that might have been a whimper if he could hear over the music and the sudden roar of blood.

"Not just yet," Jensen says, but he at least has the decency to sound breathless about it. Then those wide palms side down Jared’s front and he loses the capacity to hear completely, and maybe even part of his sense of smell. Yeah, Jensen's hands are awesome. And they're totally kneading Jared's dick. Really awesome.

That's the thing about Jensen; there's no lower setting, he gives it his all, every second of everyday and while sometimes - like when Jared really just wants to crash - that's the single most annoying feature on the planet - it's also pretty much manna from heaven when applied to sex.

Jensen's hands are hot even through the jeans, and the gritty friction of denim against his sensitive, blood-rich flesh is just this side of really honestly painful which means Jared's going to come in about eight seconds from the unbelievable goodness.

It's dark and they’re in the balcony and people are too busy with their own grinding to pay much attention to what Jared and Jensen are doing, but somebody COULD see - not just the stage act, but really SEE them, just them, together - which shouldn't make it hotter at all, and totally does.

Part of Jared has assumed that once things actually got going between them, some of Jensen’s sex magic would disappear – you know, since Jared’s finally getting to actually follow-through now – but if anything it’s gotten worse. Jensen knows exactly how – and where. Oh, God, where – to wind Jared up until he’s shaking in his skin; ‘til he’s 100% useless for anything but long, hard make-the-headboard-beg-for-mercy fucking. They’re both pretty ok with that scenario.

Jensen's smooth, perfect teeth nip at Jared's earlobe; not hard enough to leave marks because he doesn't need any more for the collection to prove that he's Jensen's. The singer digs the heel of one hand in brutally at the base and for one shining, sight-stealing second that really is painful, but then his other hand finds Jared's cockhead dampening the cloth and rubs hot, electric shapes into it with his fingers. His fingernails drag across the fabric ridges and the vibration shoots through Jared, stringing his whole body taught as he keens and pumps thick ropes of come helplessly inside his pants.

It is just exactly like being fourteen again. Well, except for all of the hot guy-on-guy action that will probably be happening very soon. Right after Jared finishes morphing into goo.

Jensen's got both arms wrapped around Jared from behind, hands clenching so tight on Jared's shoulders that it would probably ache if his body was up to feeling anything else right now. Jen's holding perfectly still though, breaths rabbit fast against Jared's sweat damp skin which means that he's just barely holding back from shooting his load too. Jensen is a damn sex god, but when he gets really revved up, the guy can go off like a shot, totally untouched. And that's sounding pretty fucking good right about now.

Jared slowly peels himself away from Jensen, supporting his weight on the railing while his body tries to remember what ‘standing’ means. Jensen's all flushed and panting and just the neediest, sweetest-looking piece Jared has ever seen; dark blush creeping down his chest beneath his unbuttoned shit, dick a straining bulge against the shine of his leather pants. Those goddamn pants; if Jared didn't love them so much he'd burn them, they're clearly a force for evil.

But evil's not always a bad thing.

Jared plants his hands on Jensen's hips, just about the time it looks like the singer's getting it back together, bends all the way forward and licks one long, hot stripe over the leather-bound length of Jensen's cock. He's just barely reached the tip when he feels the flesh jerk against the tongue, the spread of heat underneath slick material.

He supports Jensen's weight when it becomes obvious that the other man has no intention of doing it for himself, waiting until his boyfriend finally manages to get those green eyes unglued from the back of his skull before he lets go.

Jared's got all of four seconds to enjoy hazy, blissed-out-Jensen face before the smaller man shoves him up against the railing, hands bracketing Jared's jaw as he claims Jared's mouth in a surging kiss.

"Dirty little slut," Jensen groans like it’s the highest praise he knows, teeth still caught on Jared's bottom lip. "Definitely need a spanking when we get back to the room." Just like that 'little Jared' is back in the game.

Yeah, he totally loves Jensen.

***

Jared runs his teeth over the little chip in the navy blue polish on his nails - yes, he's a total push-over - and avidly watches the little monitor set into the greenroom wall. The other guys are screwing around, loudly discussing where the want to go party after - they have invitations to several exclusive clubs in the city - and Jared’s doing his level best to not shush them obnoxiously as Jensen shakes the host’s hand and takes a seat on the big couch on-screen. Jared can't even remember whose show they’re on anymore and really, who the fuck cares when Jensen’s on TV, smiling like he just won the world.

They'd only gotten to play one song, and since it was still network TV, they couldn't do their usual stage routine - fucking censors - but Jared had still pretty much made out with his boyfriend on national TV with his goddamn parents DVRing the thing back home and Jared's dick was still doing a remarkable wrought iron impression.

The host asks Jen about the tour - Jared's gut clenches again at the thought that in a couple of weeks they weren't going to be basically living together in hotel rooms anymore and what the hell are they going to do then - and the new album that has become Jensen's personal mania in the last couple of weeks. Then he asks the question - THE question - the one everybody always asks.

"So are you dating anyone?"

The editors or producers or whoever, helpfully bring up a clip from not three minutes ago of Jensen shoving his tongue into Jared's mouth. Maybe they should consider that whole sex tape thing.

The crowd 'woo's, a couple of girls - and one very enthusiastic guy - scream and Jensen rolls his head back, laughs his 'thank you nominating me God, you made the right choice' laugh and gives his pat answer, which is...

"No, nothing like that. Just, you know, playing the field."

Not that.

Jared takes a moment to marvel that he could still be standing here, staring at the TV, when a giant hole has just opened up in the floor beneath him. Apparently Jensen broke gravity too.

Ok, don't freak out, no point in freaking out. It's not like the term 'boyfriend' had actually been used - except, obviously, in Jared's head - maybe he had just been reading too much into things, maybe this was Jensen's way of telling him to back off. Then again, it had been a couple of weeks since Jared had even bothered to find out which hotel room he was supposedly staying in and with all of the sex and the kissing and the cuddling and - damnit, Jensen was supposed to be his boyfriend! What the hell?!

Jared is not pacing, Jared is very simply and calmly walking around the room. In a circle. At a high rate of speed. And considering whether to go ahead and have angry sex with Jensen before he kills him or just cut straight to the homicide.

The new drummer - the third one this tour - is staring at him like he thinks Jared's going to spontaneously combust and he's planning his escape route while Jeff just gives him this look that's sort of fond and hacked-off at the same time. Neither of which is helping to quell Jared's urge to hit something Jensen-shaped really hard, repeatedly.

On national television! He goes out there on national television and says that kissing Jared doesn't mean anything. Makes Jared look like a total whore who'd just give it up to anybody because Jensen's just 'playing the field' and - oh Jesus. Is he playing the field? When the hell would he have time to even see the damn field? But then again Jensen can be downright conniving if he puts is mind to it and god-fucking-damn Jared's junk itches where the hair's growing back - ok, he should have let Jensen shave him again this morning but then they got caught up in that nice slick soap and... oh fuck, what if he's playing the field?

At some point during the implosion of Jared's life as he knows it, Jensen apparently finished the interview. Now he's just standing there - like sex on legs; thanks God, you fucker - staring with one twitchy eyebrow as Jared does his simple, calm,b circle walking thing. What? He's never seen anyone walk in a circle before? Jared can walk in a circle if he damn well wants to. He can also scratch he junk, because he really really wants to do that and as soon as he gets back to the room - HIS room, once he finds out which one it is and where the key's at – he’s taking off this stupid nail polish.

"What happened?" Jensen asks softly like he's soothing a frightened animal or something. Jared is not a fucking animal! If anyone in this NOT-relationship is an animal it's Jensen, stupid giant housecat!

"Nothing," is what Jared manages to say instead, then promptly grabs his case and walks out of the greenroom. He has to stop in the hallway just outside because he can't remember which one of the seven thousand identical doors led to the elevators, but at least he got his walk-out.

***

It's been days - three exactly - since Jared's said more than a single sentence at a time to Jensen. Not that Jensen hasn't tried - Jared finally just turned off his phone and started going out so his not-boyfriend couldn't find him - but Jared's not really in the mood to listen.

Ok, yes, he's being a little irrational because, no, technically they hadn't made any kind of promises to each other; it was just kind of... implied. After all, Jensen had made that whole big thing about wanting 'the whole package' and... and Jared kind of... well, he's maybe in a little over his head. At first he just kept thinking how he loved Jensen whenever he'd do something especially cute, or sexy, or funny but then he started to realize just how often Jensen did something cute or sexy or funny and now he's kind of thinking that maybe he just loves Jensen. Not any of the little things he does, not just at those specific moments, but just, loves. Jensen. Who is busy playing the field and definitely not dating, much less in love with Jared. Which just sucks out loud.

Jared chews at his chipping nail polish some more - Jensen's the only one he knows who'd have nail polish remover and he's not feeling that motivated about it anymore. He hopes there's nothing poisonous in this shit, that would be an incredibly depressing death. "Jared Padalecki, best known as 'that guy making out with Jensen Ackles' dies suddenly on seaside pier from nail polish poisoning; story at eleven."

The dark clouds are promising rain and it's kind of cold without his jacket but if he goes back to the hotel Jensen might show up - or worse, he might not - and yeah, cold and wet is a significantly better option.

"PITA," drones out from behind him in a voice that shoots right to Jared's marrow. Seriously, collar with a bell.

The shock forces him to make the really stupid move of turning around and yep, worst idea ever. There's Jensen, looking all preppy-sexy in a navy peacoat - Jensen has a peacoat? Jared knows what a peacoat is? - and jeans and giving Jared that same look he's been getting from everybody for days - the bastard lovechild of tender and exasperated.

"What?" is all he manages to choke out around the blockade of his heart trying to crawl up out of Jared's chest and fling itself at Jensen.

"PITA," Jensen repeats, stepping closer "Pain In The Ass." He props his back against the railing Jared's been leaning on, close enough that Jared would barely have to shift to touch him.

He should be walking away now, storming off in another indignant huff like he has been for days, but all of a sudden with Jensen standing there with his calm, determined thing going on and everything all grey and damp and cold Jared just feels huffed out. So he settles for crossing his arms across the railing and leaning in to rest his chin on them, not meeting the green stare he can feel burning into the side of his face.

Somewhere back toward the street, Jared's now-attuned senses pick of the sound of excited fangirls, but they seem to be keeping their distance. Maybe they're not sure it's Jensen without his usual duds on.

"You know, we've got a six hour bus ride tomorrow, you are going to have to deal with me eventually," Jensen says, tipping his head back to look up at the sullen cloud-cover.

"This is me, dealing," comes out a lot more 'clipped, on the verge of crying' than Jared expected. He's really not going to cry, he swears. He gives himself a hard pinch on the wrist just to make sure his body knows it too.

"Well, then you suck at it," Jensen doesn't take his eyes off of the sky.

"Yeah," is the best Jared can come up with. He's got this overwhelming urge to run; run anywhere and just be far far away from whatever this conversation is trying to be. Except that would mean running away from Jensen and while he's managed to avoid the singer pretty well so far, actually turning around and moving in the opposite direction of exactly where he wants to be seems like it's living in the same realm of possibility as Jared suddenly discovering he has laser-vision. He squints his eyes really hard, just to be sure. Nothing catches on fire.

"You're pissed about the talk show." It's a statement, but there's something open at the end like Jensen's hoping Jared will elaborate.

"Not pissed."

"You do a good impersonation then."

Jared gets his fingers halfway through his hair before he gives it up and just leans his head on his hand instead. "Not pissed anymore."

The wind has picked up and the sounds of whispering girls is becoming more pronounced. Sooner or later one of them is going to get brave enough to come down here, maybe Jared can make his escape then. Even as the thought occurs he knows he won't, though; won't ever walk away for as long as Jensen wants him there, even if it’s not the way he’d hoped.

Frustration and hopelessness and a couple dozen other things Jared can't even begin to sort out work their way out of his chest on an explosive sigh.

"This isn't supposed to happen. You shouldn't be able to feel like this after a couple of weeks. There are rules and shit!"

Like about half of the things he says around Jensen, Jared doesn't mean for it to come out, but now that it has, he feels surprisingly better. Because, yeah, a couple of weeks isn't supposed to be enough to fall for someone like this, a couple of months shouldn't be enough to go from hating a guy's guts to being willing to follow him around like an unwanted puppy. Jensen's the one screwed with the rules, Jensen's the one who messed him up, Jensen's the one who -

"I love you."

\- who sounds so broken and hurt when he says the words that Jared feels like he's falling apart right along with him. But Jen just barrels right on ahead anyway.

"I know that I'm not supposed to, and it’s too soon and I dragged you into this thing. You're not even really into guys that much and here I am trying to rearrange my furniture in my head so we can fit your stuff into my place and we're not even actually dating and… I'm sorry. I pushed you into this and I'm sorry."

And damn if Jensen didn't do it again; just like that, Jared's sense of hearing is totally gone. No wind, no synthetic snap of cell phone cameras, no deep rumble of thunder overhead. Just blessed, gut-wrenching silence.

How the hell do they keep doing this to each other?

"You love me." Hey look, the audio's back! Now if Jared can just manage a little inflection.

Jensen nods solemnly, Adam's apple bobbing on a heavy swallow and this is not the moment for Jared to lean in and lick at it, but soon, maybe.

"You said you were playing the field. You said I didn't mean anything to you." Seriously, it's inflection time! Any year now!

Jensen's surprised enough to look at him though, and there's a flicker of something that looks painfully like the hope smoldering inside Jared's gut right now.

"Y-" Jensen’s voice stalls out and he has to clear it forcefully before he can go on, "You made that whole big deal about your parents watching and you said they weren’t exactly thrilled about-" Jensen's hand moves back in forth indicating some invisible link between them, "so I figured you were mad that I kissed you anyway. That you didn't want your family to know. I..."

Whatever else Jensen might have been planning to say trails off in the salty-wet gust.

This is Jared's moment, the time to get all romantic and get on his knees to make the epic declarations of undying love. But you know what, screw it.

"Hey! C'mere." he shouts at the group of fans doing a shit job of hiding around the edge of the building. Several just take off running, but a couple of them - college girls it looks like - hesitantly slink forward, obviously thinking Jared's mad. "You got your phone?" he jerks his chin at them, and maybe he's not being the PR dream right now, but hey, he's got other shit going on. Besides that's Jensen's job.

Except Jensen seems to have completely short-circuited, so he's just standing there, kind of slack jawed, looking from Jared to the girl worriedly displaying her phone, then back to Jared.

"Good," Jared nods at the her, "prepare to be the most popular person on the internet"

He turns fast, fisting his hand in Jensen's fucking peacoat and yanks him in close.

"I love you too," he says, sure and even and proceeds to crash his lips into Jensen's so hard he's positive that at least one of them is going to have a busted lip. He doesn't let up until Jensen's mouth opens for him and he’s relearned every angle of the singer’s mouth with a ruthless tongue-fucking. Sweet holy hell, it's nice to be the one whose legs AREN'T going out from under him for once. Turnabout and all that jazz.

Jared finally pulls back and Jensen's all loose and boneless and fluttery against him. Well, ok, not boneless, there's one 'bone' he's obviously still got and it's trying to poke right through the muscles of Jared's thigh.

The college girls are staring like Jared just announced his plans to take over the world with nothing but cotton swabs and some well placed clingwrap, but they've both got their cell phones up, recording every second.

"He's my boyfriend, got it?" he growls into the cell phone cameras then grips on hand in Jensen's waistband and shakes him a little to get his attention. "There. I'm out."

Jensen makes several aborted, choked off sounds and finally settles on a nod. His expression is stuck somewhere between abject shock and total adoration. It's a good look for him.

Jared practically bowls over the college girls - they don't seem to mind - as he hauls Jensen back out to the street by his jeans. They need a cab, now. Jensen's got a bone problem that Jared plans to take care of, ASAP.


End file.
